Yes, I'm Canadian... But...

So... it snowed... I'm proud my Canadian senses were accurate!

Since winter is fighting to come, I decided to write about something that I am contantly asked

"why are you cold? Aren't you Canadian?"

Yes, I'm Canadian... I have survived through terrible -40c winters (why is there no degree sign on ipad'/ keyboard?!?). But it's not that I can't handle winters or cold weathers... my body is not capable of sudden temperature changes (whether sudden cold or sudden hot temperature changes). So this season is the worse... Having 10 degree differences throughout the the day really confuses my body... It's so hard for my body to adjust...

Snow in Tokyo

This is a pre-post, let's put my Canadian snow knowledge to the test... according to the brightness of the sky tonight... it will indeed snow in Tokyo tomorrow...

If that is true, this means Tokyo will break it's 56 year record of no snowfall in the month of November... :O

Needy bride of Christ?

disagreement

Am I a needy "wife"?

Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father walked out on me just 2 months into our spiritual marriage and never came back... The last word I heard from them was I was too needy... I have to be more independent...

But... This is me... He knows it... He created me... He knows I need HIM! Or else... Why do I need this marriage... This baptism?

Fast forward to 8 years later, I continue to seek... Yet I do not find... I knock but the door does not open... I had a miserable time without the presence of Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father... I feel tricked into baptism... if I wasn't baptized yet... maybe I would still have a good relationship with Him. 

Sigh... I just want to talk to Him like I used to... I just want our relationship to grow... I miss the relationship and moments we shared... The time we had before my baptism... Before I declared I was His and He was mine's...

Why did He leave? Why is He not responding to me!??!?!?! Why can't He just show His face?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

Earthly relationships Parallel heavenly relationships

relationships

I managed to make a connection with my relationships with men. I don't care whether He is my spiritual husband (Jesus Christ) or whether he is an earthly potential (Mr. K).... They are all the same... Once they know they have you... They will abandon you...

Why are all men the same? Is that why the bible says "So God created mankind in his own image..." Genesis 1:27

man and woman

God, Jesus Christ... men... (specifically men I like) are all the same... when they want to pursue you... they will do ANYTHING... but when they know you are hooked... then they take you for granted...

Before I got baptized, Jesus, God... it was so obvious they tried to hard to pursue me... to love me and to always be in my presence and make it known they are there... but after my baptism... they just drifted off...

Mr. K is the same... before I started liking Mr. K he would always message me and get my attention... but once I started to be more responsive... he started to drift off...

WHY ARE MEN SO FRUSTRATING!?!??!

Paper marriage license

marriage certificate

*please note that Baptism is the Christian allegory of "getting married" to Christ.

Recently I came to realize just how superficial my marriage (baptism) with Christ is.

We don't interact like we used to. We don't even talk... I try to talk to Him but He only wants to be a secret admirer... Sometimes I feel Him helping me from behind the scenes, like someone who just wants to let you guess who is it... and never reveal themselves... except the problem is... we are married... committed... why does He do this? 

... I do not see Him... I try to talk to Him but He ignores me... He listens but He doesn't respond..  I ask for "intimacy"... But He doesn't give... He just shuts me out... 

I ask Him what's wrong? But He doesn't tell me... I am confused... Why is He acting like this?... I have tried everything I could think of... all advice I could get my hands on... but our relationship is still the same...

It hurts me to not be able to talk to my husband... We are married... Committed... But He is not making this marriage any easier... why did we get married if He does this? Shouldn't our relationship grow?... 

Nov. 8, 2016

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