Needy bride of Christ?

disagreement

Am I a needy "wife"?

Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father walked out on me just 2 months into our spiritual marriage and never came back... The last word I heard from them was I was too needy... I have to be more independent...

But... This is me... He knows it... He created me... He knows I need HIM! Or else... Why do I need this marriage... This baptism?

Fast forward to 8 years later, I continue to seek... Yet I do not find... I knock but the door does not open... I had a miserable time without the presence of Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father... I feel tricked into baptism... if I wasn't baptized yet... maybe I would still have a good relationship with Him. 

Sigh... I just want to talk to Him like I used to... I just want our relationship to grow... I miss the relationship and moments we shared... The time we had before my baptism... Before I declared I was His and He was mine's...

Why did He leave? Why is He not responding to me!??!?!?! Why can't He just show His face?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!