Wounds

It is true when they say you hurt those when you are hurt inside.

It saddens me to realize how much I have hurt those around me and it is because I am broken and wounded.

After reflecting and having a conversation with a very good friend of mine, I realize how most of what I think and feel are actually all in my head.

I am broken and this is why I need Jesus, I need God, I want to be healed.

I am wounded. We live in a sinful world and during the conversation with my friend, I realized how a lot of what I perceived was due to bad experiences.

My wounds speak louder than my heart. Everything I do is driven by my wounds to protect me from being hurt again... what I didn't know what how I ended up hurting my friend... what I thought I was going to protect myself ended up hurting my friend just like how I was wounded/hurt in the past.

I now understand the bible verse

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

When I was young, I did not guard my heart and ended up allowing the wrong people in it. Whenever I experience a similar feeling or occasion, I assume the worst, I pick up on similarities... what I thought was protecting myself ended up hurting the people around me.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank you for showing me what is in my heart and why certain patterns appear in my life. I want to change that and break the chain. I want to be healed from the wounds of rejection and anything else that has caused me pain and I don't want to be broken. I know how I feel is not normal and not who you made me to be. Please fix me.

I pray for those I have hurt, May their hearts be healed and if You are willing, may our relationships be healed.

I pray this in Jesus' name, amen.